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OMG. I just learned that DTV can cause massive health injuries. Birds falling from the sky, phlegmatic cats, and evidence of huge increases in headaches, unclear thinking, nervous tensions, total apathy and stabbing pain come from being exposed to even minute levels of digital television signals.

This recently discovered data comes from a letter to President Barack Obama from a panel of German doctors. These physicians provide a list of the dangers posed by digital television as experienced in their country. The doctors plead for our government to stop the DTV transition until fiber optics can be used to replace RF delivery.

The doctors' research is based on Germany’s conversion to DTV, which began in 2003. The letter reads, “In Germany, we see strong evidence of a direct temporal association between the start‐up of terrestrial digital broadcast television and the occurrence of severe health symptoms."

“On May 20, 2006, two digital broadcast television stations went on the air in the Hessian Rhoen area (Heidelstein, Kreuzberg), which until recently had enjoyed rather low mobile phone radiation exposure levels. Within a radius of more than 20km, the following symptoms that occurred abruptly were reported: constant headaches, pressure in the head, drowsiness, sleep problems, inability to think clearly, forgetfulness, nervous tensions, irritability, tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, depressive mood, total apathy, loss of empathy, burning skin, inner burning, leg weakness, pain in the limbs, stabbing pain in various organs and weight increase."

“Birds had fled the area. Cats had turned phlegmatic and hardly ever went into the garden. One child committed suicide; a second child tried doing it."

Birds fleeing, phlegmatic cats — it’s Armageddon! Clearly the animal population can recognize the effects of DTV radiation, and they are fleeing from these harmful signals. It’s just the human population that’s too stupid to realize RF causes “tightness in the chest” and “irritability.” Heck, I just thought those were caused by sour economics.

Instead, the German doctors claim that exposure to even small RF levels can cause life-altering effects. I quickly began calculating the number of years I’d spent working around high-power transmitters. Boy, if even small RF levels can cause problems, I could be a walking time bomb. I probably glow in the night and don’t even know it.

“Over time the same unbearable symptoms showed up in other locations — most recently in Bamberg and Aschaffenburg on November 25, 2008. Physicians accompanied affected people to areas where there was no DVB‐T reception (valleys, behind mountain ranges) and witnessed how these people became symptom‐free only after a short period of time.”

The open letter to the president continues, “Satellites and cable provide the U.S. population with television services. By contrast, the risk associated with terrestrial digital broadcast television transmitters is unacceptable. We, therefore, ask you, dear Mr. President, who has the well being of his citizens at heart, to stop the scheduled introduction of this new technology in the United States of America and to save the people from the negative health consequences that have occurred in our country.”

That’s when I began to wonder why it took a medical team from another country to identify the exposure hazards of digital television for the American government. How could all of our agencies miss this cause-effect relationship?

Never mind that transmitter engineers have for years worked next to megawatt klystrons. Disregard that some engineers actually lived at transmitter sites for years, fathered kids and did so without developing horns, becoming phlegmatic or growing a third arm. That these engineers didn’t experience the heart-stopping effects described in the German study is apparently irrelevant.

This demands immediate hearings and full-scale investigations by both the House and Senate. Call the FCC, the EPA, the ASPCA, FEMA, PETA even the CIA and Pentagon. Digital television must be stopped.

Once the animal rights groups like the American Bird Lovers and Huggers, the Bird Butt-Feather Kissing Society and the American Cat Cuddlers discover that DTV may cause those teeny-weeny, feather-covered poopers to fall from the sky, or become phlegmatic, there’ll be hell to pay.

These fanatics will demonstrate. There’ll be public rallies, maybe even a Million Cat-Bird Protester March. Riots and civil unrest is sure to follow.

We broadcasters might be able to deflect the complaints about DTV’s effect on humans. However, once viewers realize that DTV causes phlegmatic cats and a decrease in the bird population, well, they’ll demand we turn our transmitters off.

This reeks of a U.S. government cover-up, maybe even a conspiracy. Where’s the NAB? Where’s Congress?

Where is sanity?

On second thought, could this be a cleverly-disguised plan by cable and satellite to eliminate the competition? Or, maybe it’s just another example of blogs on drugs.