The Onion: ‘Dad Turns into HD Snob’

It’s been reported that according to family members in Shelton, Conn., ever since “area father Gerry DiCenzo” purchased a 52-inch HD LCD television last month, he has refused to watch any program not broadcast in HD. “Every time I walk into the room, he’s like, ‘Michael, sit down, you have to look at this picture,’ but it’s always something crappy, like golf or bowling or something,” said son Michael, 14.

The story is not for real (not in this instance, anyway) but lives in the fertile imagination of The Onion, the irreverent “news” publication that spoofs the real world with accounts that usually ring close enough to the truth for many readers. The publication notes that son “Michael” observes that his father “will often flip back and forth between CBS’s high-definition station and its regular station to illustrate the difference, acting physically disgusted when the picture is not in HD.”

The Onion duly reports that dad always watches “Happy Feet” when it appears on HBO and always observes: “Look how clear the pixels are—you can see the individual feathers on the penguins!”

Dad, of course, only rents movies on Blu-ray now, and has been known to proudly point out that “Spider-Man 3” star Tobey Maguire “has a bunch of moles on his face that you can’t see in regular-def.”

But yes, there really is a “Shelton, Conn.”