Oct
7
Written by:
10/7/2011 9:04 AM
HUSKERLAND: There’s a movement among broadcast engineers to get their own
kind on the staffs of FCC commissioners. The commission has a tendency to defy
the laws of physics, according to engineers who agree upon the laws of physics.
If you are an engineer and you are reading this, you know darn well that if one
engineer says, “the laws of physics are black and white,” another will say, “no,
they are a multicolored array of pastels with neon edges.”
Which, let’s be honest, contributes greatly to engineer aversion by people with
regular-sized brains.
It doesn’t help that the commission is comprised primarily of lawyers whose
duty it is to create laws in opposition to those of nature. Barry Thomas of the
Society of Broadcast Engineers notes that “social differences” between lawyers
and engineers creates a natural “cultural chasm.” This cultural chasm nearly
led to riots at University of Nebraska in May, 1927.
The skirmish began during Engineers’ Week when the engineers woke to discover
their theme-week dirigible had been vandalized. Instead of “Engineers’ Week,”
it read, “Pharmacy Week.” Pharmacy students were not suspected because they had
more interesting things to do. A long-standing feud with law students convinced
the engineers it was they who renamed the airship, and thus draped the law
school with a massive “E-Week” sign. The law students, upon seeing it,
proceeded to torch and dismember the ill-fated balloon. The engineers, upon
seeing this, proceeded to “avenge the burning and wholesale destruction of
their dirigible,” according to the Daily Nebraskan. The avenging continued into
the week with a law frat house egging that turned into a brawl in which
firefighters were engaged. Both schools charged each student 75 cents for
damages.
This cautionary tale does not in any way advocate an FCC egging by broadcast
engineers so that hacks such as myself can write about something besides
spectrum. Honest.